12.16.19 How do I know I am following God’s voice, His instruction? Isn’t it just as likely that I am following the devil or my own desires, not God’s will? Here is what I have learned over 35+ years of following that “still, small voice” of God’s.
- He is challenging, not easy: “How can I say I love God if I can’t love my mother?” This led to a two-year journey in which I tried to love my mother, but in the end He healed both of us by surrounding us with a cloud of love for a few minutes on a railroad platform after a weekend visit with her. And then everything changed between us. She was grateful for everything I did and I could love her as she was.
- Everything He suggests is good for me in healing an issue within me, or breaking down a type of thinking that blocks me from seeing clearly. In my early 40’s I heard this: ”I have an agenda for my life,” when I didn’t know who the ‘I” was or what that agenda might be. From then on I asked myself this question with every decision I made, “What do I really want to do?” That question changed everything in my life.
- He brings us to the next step on our journey,
a-whether it is a suggestion of a daily devotion like “Jesus Calling” from a friend;
b-or a much deeper invitation: recently I came upon a book on my shelf entitled “Apprenticeship to Jesus” by Gary Moon and spent a month following his lead;
c-or invited me to move to Charlotte in 2008, after 0 years in California, 7 years after my husband died;
d-or highlights an issue from my past that has not been healed: I turned off my car radio on the way home from our cabin, a trip of about 1.5 hours. I learned then how impatient and angry I am in traffic and otherwise, too. And I continue to work with Him on these issues. A major issue in my childhood was being on time.
These are just a few examples from my journey with the Lord, but I hope you can see the difference between all that the world and our egos want and what God wants for us. With His suggestions our lives are always on the move towards the unseen goal of surrendering our whole selves to Him. It is an ongoing process in which we can feel the gradual inner transformation.
 1 King’s 19:12